a few thoughts on the word tranny from a tranny

i'm in tucson for idke. i'm fucking exhausted. the time change really screwed me over. not only am i now in mountain time, but arizona is the only state that doesn't change their clocks for day light saving so instead of being two hours behind east coast time, i'm three. it's killing me right now. yet for some reason i'm still taking the time to write this. i wanted to write about how wonderful tucson is thus far, but i think that may have to wait for tomorrow. i'm too tired to go into it right now. i did, however, want to share this:

http://community.livejournal.com/ftm/5905824.html

it's a discussion that's taking place in the ftm community on livejournal about the use of the word tranny. specifically tranny being listed in the group's interests. it also goes into a conversation briefly about the word dyke being used in the interests as well. i really want to throw my two cents into the conversation, but i know how a lot of these guys operate, and i really don't have the desire to argue with a bunch of people on the internet right now. i have too much to do in real life. anyway, as a result of not wanting to argue, i'm going to throw my two cents in here.

the word tranny by folks other than transwomen is a highly debated topic in trans communities. many say that it's not our word to reclaim. many say that they hate it. one guy on the link i posted said that they only use it to describe the "more miserable and hurtful portions of this experience." and that's fair. everyone uses different words to describe their own experiences and identities. that's not something that people should question. what kills me about this whole discussion is that no one who has posted comments has even considered those who actually LIKE the word tranny, and use it to identify themselves. like me, for instance. there's all this talk about voting to take it off of the interests without even considering the fact that there could be someone out there who could be offended by it being removed.

i personally love the word. i think it describes me well. to me, it seems to add a bit of gayness to my trans identity. not that i need anymore gayness added to my life, but still. i understand that it has historically been used against transwomen and i have done my best to not use the word around people who may be offended by it. if i'm talking with someone i don't know well enough to know their feelings on the word, i ask if it would make them uncomfortable for me to use it. or just don't use it at all. if folks i don't know are in earshot, i try my best not to use it. or at least to say it quietly. and in a way, that's me censoring my own identity. but i don't mind, because it's out of respect for those who have been oppressed by the word. i do, however, mind people making me feel like shit for using a word that they don't necessarily agree with to describe myself.

i really do wish that i had the energy to post a comment. perhaps i will and just keep it simple. nothing personal. just a statement about considering those who use the word to identify themselves. i just can't take the handful of people over there that will fight to the death in order to get their way.

i also wanted to touch on the brief dyke discussion that took place in the comments, but i don't think that i can bring myself to write anymore.

i really just wish that people could respect each other. respect peoples' identities. respect their boundaries when it comes to things, in this case words, that may be triggering or offensive. respecting people in general. i don't understand why it's such a hard concept for some people to grasp. especially within marginalized groups. ugh. can someone explain this to me?

okay i'm done. i can't think anymore. it's 449am in the time zone that i'm currently used to. i'm smoking a cigarette and going to bed.


TRANNY out.